Dating game can be hard for everyone. First, you have to find that special someone you want to go on a date with, then you have to decide where to meet, when to call, what to wear, what to talk about… It can be a tricky business. Dating with HIV can be even more difficult. You have to have that awkward talk, decide when to disclose your status and discuss safe sex. But don’t worry, it’s not impossible.
Yes, HIV dating is hard but don’t lose hope. Being positive doesn’t make finding the right person any easier, but with our tips, getting back on the market will be a lot less stressful.
Don’t make it a big deal
Be comfortable in your skin. HIV is something you have, not who you are. If you are bothered with your condition, the chances are your date will be too. Be confident and talk about HIV and ways to stay safe like you are talking about the weather. Being relaxed will make your partner more at ease. Never apologize about your condition like you have done something wrong, and never ask someone to take you on a date like they are doing you a favor.
Yes, some people will reject you because of your status. It’s for the best to discover who those people are before you start falling for someone. Tell your date as soon as possible about your condition. If they reject you because of it, they are not even worth your time. Don’t be upset because you have one less douchebag in your life. If they don’t reject you, that is a person worth knowing.
Don’t start HIV positive dating before you have told your family and friends about your condition. You should have a healthy support system before beginning a relationship with someone. Be able to talk to your friends about your dating life, your problems and hesitations. You must be comfortable with people who love you before getting to know someone new.
Never be with someone who judges you because of your condition. In that case, it’s better to stay single. No matter how desperately you want to be in a relationship and have a loving partner, being with a wrong person will be worse than being alone. Don’t pressure yourself to find a match as soon as possible.
You are not your illness
If someone rejects you over your HIV status, don’t take it personally. Their reasons for walking away have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their fears of HIV. Let the person you are dating know everything about your status immediately, because if you tell them later, they will think you tried to trick them. If you explain everything and they still run away, let them. There is plenty of fish in the sea. And like there are dating sites where you can meet cougars, cowboys or truckers, there are also HIV dating online platforms. There is always a way to find your match, so don’t lose hope.